Da Trial Run.....

Today be da day dat we find out just how practical my plan for the bomb really is, we did sleep in cause of daylight saving time changing, whatever dat is. This be da first ting dat I hadn't tought of, I should have known by dis it wasn't gunna be a great day.
We got up and had morning nom nom's, I cant go anywhere wifout my breakfast and then Jess and I did sneek out da back door when da hoomins wernt watching. We had da BOMB wif us.
We snuck through the back fence in our special sneeky out spot, over da carpark and into da neighbours place through there fence in a spot we had previously taken a few bricks from.

Da neighbours do have a real nice house so I wanna be careful so me and Jess redo da calculations to make sure we got dem spot on right, each time we does work it out we fink, no we sure we got it all measured right. Jess does check dat day still on holiday and dat no one home in da house den we hide behind da brick wall in a safe place so we tinking Health and Safety all the time ok.

Jess den says to me 'You sure about this Baxter' and I don't fink, my tummy takes over and I say 'Lets do it Jess'. My big mistake.

I jump on da exploder ting and BANG, da bomb goes off and dere is dust and smoke everywhere, it starts to clear and da first ting we see is da brick wall. A BIG clue dat me and Jess are no scientists.......

Wow me tinks, Jess does a runner and heads home to Ma and Pa shouting out 'Its all yours Baxter

, I'm not going to doggie prison cause you was hungry for nom nom's', tanks for your support Jess.

I den tink, well maybe de house ok..............

It appears not, da house be muntered...................................................

Oh gosh what I do now, da aftershake dat I done did use to mask da bomb was nuffing like dis big......So I do what any self respecting Spoodle would do, I wee myself!!!
After dat embarrassing fing I'm off home as fast as my little legs would carry me. Im throu da fence, cross da carpark, throu our wall and in da back door in world record time and den I go dive into my basket, I'm shaking and my heart is beating just so fast.
Jess not happy at all and just looks at me and says "Stoopid idiot Baxter"
Den da police do come and also da fire engine, den I get into more trouble cause I cant help it but I howl to da tune of da fire engine.
So far I is safe and nobody finks it is me but now I see Jess talking to da police man and point over at me. I fink she dobbing me in so she gets all da cuddles, bugger.
Im gunna ring my furiend Oz cause he da brightest dog I know and he be my lawyer..........I fink I'm in all sorts of trouble, oh shit wonder what da nom nom's are like in doggie prison.

BOL Baxter

Meeting "The Supplier"

I fought that I better tell you all about da meeting that I had to go fru to get the bomb for the 'job'. After da hoomins went to sleep Jess sprung me from my crate and we did sneek out. It was real dark but Jess is brave and led me down the town. We had to be stealthy so nobody fought that we be strays and we been take away to the pound, yuuk.







It was really dark and cold but the fought of hoomin food drove us on. We had to go down dis dark alley dat was a dangerous sort of place for two non streetwise puppies like me and my buddy, Jess.
"Come on Baxter be brave, weve come to far to back out now." she said to be so I hardened up and carried on.

We got to da door dat we had been told to and knocked 5 times and waited, and waited, and waited. Jess wanted to go home and she fought dat I was nuts and had got da whole lot of instructions wrong. I had da faith cause by dis time me was real hungry and could only fink of what was behind dat fridgey door fing.

A man finally came to da door............

He was real scary and said,

"Wot ya want ya mutts"

Jess was unhappy by this and started to reach into her handbag for her breeders papers but I had the wise head and said,

"We here to meet up wif Mr The Supplier"

"OK come in, giv me da camera Mr Supplier cant be identified you mutts"

All I could think of was 'Shut up Jess' dont upset this guy. So in we went into da office where I handed over da dog kibble as payment.

"Hi Mr Supplier......."

"Shut up mutts he said, heres da bomb, I know were youz live and If you breeve a word of dis to identify me I send my boys round to do youz over, got it"

"YES Mr Supplier I got it" Dont even tink of saying anyfing Jess!!

"OK mutts piss off"

So, after gettin camera back, we leave as quick as we can Jess and Me didnt wanna stay any longer than we need to I was scared outa my curls!!!

He was the nastiest baddest scariest Spaniel I or Jess had ever met!!!!!!!!

Off down da road we run and run till we is home again. phew safe at last.

Den we look at da bomb and it look a bit bigger dan we fought but what we know. In 24 hours we find out.

Till tomorrow BOL Baxter

New Plan (plan B)

After careful consideration wif Jess we have decided to try da bomb trick on da neighbours house in 36 hours time...............
My furiends on twitter convinced me that the danger was large and dat we best have a trial run.
I have been in touch wif da "Supplier" and he says it possible no problem to get anover bomb so we planning on da dress rehearsal in tomorrow tomorrow..
Da neighbours be away on da holiday so dere is no real danger to anyone.
Jess is worked on anover plan so its all go..............

Baxter

Shhhhhhh dont tell da hoomins...

Hey all my Anipals come over here behind the chair....

Make sure the hoomins dont see you going there.....

Check day not looking or listening......



I know a few of you fink my idea is nuts but.................I GOT A BOMB!!!!!
Or I fink I have, I got a mate who got a mate who got a mate...... well you understand. I eventually got to a real dodgy spaniel called "The Supplier" he barks wif a dodgy London accent. He said he can get me a bomb for my project and I have to meet him after dark in da park, I'm a bit scared but da fought of access to da fridge do drive me and Jess said she would come wif me and shes a real tuffy!!
So late tonight Jess going to let me out of my crate and den we going to meet dis dodgy type and make da exchange, hope its worf my big bag of my normal nom nom's dat he charging.

Den its all on............Wish me luck. BOL

Don't tell any of da hoomins its our secret!!!

Woops here comes Daddy I better get gone, "Yea I coming keep your shirt on!!!" geez da hoomins get impatient don't day.

Cheers Baxter.

Project Blow Up

Hi Guys just had to share a project I've been working on for a long long time. I need all the advice I can get cause I'm a little bit stuck at the moment and don't know what to do and if my plan will work.

The Background

I've noticed this thing in the kitchen da hoomins call a fridge, it seems to have a never ending supply of nom nom's. I gotta get in there and raid it somehow.

You can see just how much nom nom is available if I can just find a way in there and that's when I hatched this plan.

If I can just get in I have unlimited hoomin food and that be da bestset idea ever.

I have tried:

• Digging my way in, very unsuccessful cause da floor is really hard not like the garden outside which is soft and easy to dig.
• Running at da fridge and read butting it but again dat was really unsuccessful and all I did was make da hoomins laugh and give myself a sore head. Tank goodness my twitter furiend Coney stopped me overwise I have permanant sore head,
• Look for da keys was anover plan that I came up wif. If da hoomins need keys for da car dere must be keys for somefing as important as da fridge. 
• I also tried a ladder but day dont make ladders for anyone wif more than the two legs, none for us four legs at all.

None of dem ideas worked out so then da masterstroke........a BOMB

The Plan

You see here the layout of our target area and can understand just how much problem there is in getting access for the assault on da fridge.....



My plan is to set a bomb at da base of da fridge and den me and Jess hide round the corner in relative safety while KAPOW da bomb does go off and da fridge door do open.

You can see from dis drawing dat Jess did do for me, cause my Internet allocation is used up twittering, where we hide and set off da bomb and den we in to da food. Yippy BOL.

Me and Jess have even had a few trial runs while the hoomins havent been her.

Here we are checking just how long it takes us to get from da fridge to da safe zone dat we have got worked out.

So dats da plan

Do youz see any flaws wif the plan as it stands?

See anyfing we could do better?

Anyfing we havent tried before we do da bomb fing?

LAST QUESTION

Where does a Bichon and a Spoodle buy a bomb from?????

Snuggles

Hi Folks, just a wee pickie of me and Ma hoomin snuggling up on the couch.
I is so lucky to have a Mama dat lets me snuggle up when its cold.

BOL Baxter

My Mornings

Hi, I thought that it was time that I brought you all up to speed with just how my mornings start. A lot of my furiends are in the UK and I communicate with them in my morning so here's what I get up to in between.

5.30am Awhhhh.....geez I just did sleep really well dreaming bout bones and balls and zoomin everywhere. Me thinks me have a wee scratch........
5.45am Is that the hoomins I can here stirring in there bed right beside mine, is it time to get up? Should I have a wee cry yet?
6.00am Yip da man hoomin is definitely awake so I guess its time to have a wee cry and just let him know that I' awake and could do with a wee.
6.15am Da man hoomin gets up and does go to da toilet himself, why do day not let me go to da toilet myself inside I've watched often enuff.
6.17am Yippy I'm put on my lead and taken out by da big man hoomin to go pee pee, I've been needing this for a while now. Jess just sleeps on.
6.18am Were now outside, its a lubberly morning and I cant remember just what I'm out here for. Lots to see and do out here........
6.19am Aww yea I come out here to have a pee, right now just where will I go this morning the options are endless. Whats that over there......
6.20am Lots of interesting smells this morning, was that there last night...."What's that Dad". I am hurrying up its not that easy being a dog you know....DONT YELL AT ME
6.21am Now what was I doing again, looking at the garden.......Naw that's not it.......Oh I cant remember what I'm here for and Dad's yelling again......Oh yea pee that's right.......
6.22am I need to find a good smell to pee on, "All that shouting at me wont help Daddy". He doesn't understand the most important decision of the day......
6.23am Aww to hell with this I'll just pee here and tomorrow I will find a spot worthy of it. Whats that....I know I have sniffed there before twice but it wasn't right then!!!
6.24am That's better I feel good now. Right back to sleep for me. Hey Dad that's unfair its not my fault that you cant get back to sleep its easy......zzzzzzzzzzzz
6.25am Hey old man don't jab me don't you understand its still early and some of us like our sleep if you must get up early, don't wake the rest of us.......zzzzzzzzzzzzz

My Typist Daddy

I couldn't find a photo of Daddy alone so I got a better one that has my Mummy as well so I have all my staff in one photo. Its kind of a family portrait without Jess and I.
Da Daddy is da ugly one on the right in case you cant tell.
He is the one that does do all the typing for me cause I tried once and kept licking the screen to fix the errors and made a big mess on the computer.
He really likes getting me in trouble wif the Mummy and is able to bring on my 'Red Mist' at a moments notice.
He's fun cause we wrestle and play ball all the time.
So that's all my staff accounted for now we can get down to what happens in my life and in the job I have. I do work as assistant car park attendant to my sister Jess but more about that soon........

BOL, Baxter

My Hoomin Mummy

Dis is my Hoomin Mummy, she is da one that keeps me alive, if i relied on my Daddy I would be real hungry cause he always forgets. Mind you if it wasn't for him doing my typing my blog would be pretty dull.
My Mummy is about the best one around she feeds me and walks me and takes me out whenever I need to go toilet, da real important stuff.
Ive got her trained really well now I can get her to do anything I want at any time, it took a while cause she was hard to train but now the hard work has paid off.
Mummy tries to treat Jess and me the same but I know deep down that I'm the favourite of her cause she is always screaming out my name whenever I is doing something that is really fun, I guess this is to encourage me to keep doing it cause the more I do it the more she screams......she must get tired of it eventually.
Ive got to go now Mummy has taken the hint finally and is going to take Jess and me for walkies, I better go she would be unhappy if I didn't put on a big performance to encourage her.............

BOL, Baxter

My Sistafur Jess

This is a photo of my sister Jess, she is lovely and looks after me really good. She makes out she doesn't care about me but I know better and underneath it all she loves me.
She is a Bichon and was born on the 22nd of September 2001, she used to have an older brother Max a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel but he was gone long before I came on the scene.
She has taught me about chasing the ball, chewing bones and best of all how to get the humans to give me some of their food. Yum Yum.
She was the inspiration for my campaign #EqualFoodRightsForDogs or #DoubleNoms on twitter. We hope that one day we will have supermarkets the same size as the hoomins have for us anipals.

Hi Im Baxter

Hi I'm Baxter, welcome to my world.
Im a Spoodle crossed with a brick or thats what my hoomin slaves tell me. They say im not to bright but I dont see them with a blog so there!!!!
I was born on the 11th of January 2010 in Christchurch, New Zealand and was adopted by a lovely couple who look after me real good.. I have a sister, Jess. Shes a Bichon aged 9 and she knows all the tricks of how to get round the hoomins.
Hope you enjoy my thoughts and adventures, let the journey begin...............